Dracula Opera

"Forgetting Sarah Marshall" is an underrated movie.  It is on TV right now and I love it.  One of my favorite scenes is Peter (Jason Segel) singing pieces of hit puppet rock opera about Dracula.

Love

Love.  There are a lot of things that I want to say about love right now and yet I am also not entirely sure what I want to say about love. 

I looked up love on Wikipedia.  (have you stopped laughing? )  I know that Wikipedia is not the best source of information in the world but in a pinch, it will do.  I just wanted to read what someone else said about love.  The very beginning of the entry is a definition.  And of course, with something like love, the definition isn't actually a real definition at all.  It is complicated and complex but was what I needed to read. 

In English, love refers to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from pleasure ("I loved that meal") to interpersonal attraction ("I love my partner"). "Love" may refer specifically to the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love, to the sexual love of eros, to the emotional closeness of familial love, to the platonic love that defines friendship,or to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love, or to a concept of love that encompasses all of those feelings. This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, compared to other emotional states.

That's just it, isn't it.  Who the hell knows what love is?  How the hell do we know?  

I love lots of people.  I love my friends.  I love the staff I work with at SLTP.  I love my family. All of these "loves" are different.  There is more than enough room in my life and my heart for all of those kinds of love.  

What I am struggling with is the idea of romantic love?  Or that love that kind of fills you up? The love that you read about in books and stories.  Is that real love?  

I think in the thinking about the idea of "going for it", the concept of love overwhelms me.  I want to be in a relationship.  I want to have a partner.  I just don't have lots of good role models of healthy relationships.  I don't know if I trust the feelings.  Love may be the most terrifying cliff - the precipice that would require real courage to jump off of...  Is it always worth it? 

 

Jacked-up Straw & Iron Man's House

Today I had lunch with one of the great student's that I get to wok with.  We were sitting in the restaurant enjoying each others' company.  The waiter delivered our beverages.  He order a water.  I ordered a water and a lemonade.  Molly's, the restaurant we were at, has wonderful bendy straws.   I opened my straws and noticed something strange.  My straw was jacked up.  The straw-making machine did not do its job and did not trim the end properly.  While the straw didn't allow for drinking, it did create laughter.

 

 

 

 

Jacked-up Straw

Right now I am watching Iron Man on television.  I want his house.  I want it now.  I want to live in this amazing house perched on the edge of a cliff with endless windows that look out on the ocean and other beautiful things.   Curved walls, big fireplace, endless windows...just what I want. 

Song Obsession of the Week: 50 Ways to Say Goodbye

As I parked the car at the Aquatic Center a song came on the radio.  I was intrigued by the sound and the lyrics.  I didn't know the name or the artist.  Then I heard it again and again.  It got stuck in my head.  Finally on the drive down to Connecticut yesterday I heard it on the Top 40 Countdown with Ryan Seacrest.  There it was 50 Ways to Say Goodbye by Train.  I downloaded it immediately and have listened to it about 500 times.  I just saw the video for the first time.  David Hasselhoff, lions, the mention of Yom Kippur, a crappy purple scion.....what's not to love.

Happy Birthday Annalisse!

 Tomorrow, August 20th, is my niece's birthday.  She is going to be 7 years old.   I think she is the most beautiful, intelligent and just amazing young girl I have the pleasure to know.  I am very blessed that I live close enough that I can drive down to my mom's house for the birthday party.

Her birthday party was held at this place called Bounce U.  It is basically a giant indoor bouncy house.  There are bouncy obstacle courses and bouncy slides and a whole myriad of bouncy items.  The kids had a really great time.  It was kind of strange to be at a kids party without a kid of my own but at the same time I didn't have to take care of any kids.  There are plenty of perks to not having kids.

A Slideshow is worth a thousand words...

When I returned to work after my vacation there were plenty of people that told me that I hadn't had a "real vacation".  In many ways, I certainly did not have the traditional vacation - but, as I have said before, it was exactly what I needed.  These slideshows tell the whole story so clearly.

Why start writing again?

In the last few weeks I have been making small changes to my life.  I was motivated by my two weeks volunteering at SLTP.  That experience this year was exactly what I needed.  By working in a place with people I love, doing work that I love, I was reminded of who I was and what matters to me.  I was reminded that one person can make a difference.  I was reminded that taking care of yourself is not selfishness.  I was reminded that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.  I was reminded that caring deeply, loving fiercely and laughing loudly are things to be celebrated not silenced.  While I was supposed to be teaching the students, I believe I may have learned just as much if not more than they did.

With that experience at my back, I am starting the blog again in order to intentionally find ways to hold onto the joy, the love, and the courage that filled me when I left Dudley two weeks ago.  This year I am going for it.  I am going to work to more fully embody myself and to bring all that I am to the table all of the time.  I am going to take care of myself, make time for myself, and not apologize for it.  I am going to laugh as loud as the moment calls for.  i am going to love as deeply and fully and fiercely as I am able.  I am not going to apologize for being smart, for knowing things, for working hard, or for making decisions.  I am going to remember who I am and not allow naysayers to convince me of something that isn't true.

I am excited to start writing again.  I'm excited to examine my life, reflect on my experiences, and share with people I care about (or random strangers that stumble across this blog in someway).

It's time to live out loud and savor the quiet reflection.