Good work

I am emotionally wiped-out.

It was a very long and difficult day.  It was a day of student issues that triggered some very unpleasant memories of my own time in college.  My 4 years of college was not easy.  I felt as though I fought every day for my place at the table.  I worked with a student today whose life is very complicated.  The institution has rules that are supposed to work for everyone but they don't and when they run up against a life, a human, a situation that doesn't fit into the neat box that was created they sometimes have a hard time dealing with it.  It was hard not to cry tears of frustration and pain and sadness in front of the student.  It was a moment of remembering to empathize but not put my own experiences and emotions onto him and help guide him to his own path.  The outcome was better than I anticipated but still gut-wrenching and difficult to swallow.

Sometimes I feel like I write these messages and they don't seem like joyful posts at all.  I am writing this blog to help keep me from sliding into the pain and negativity that days like today could create.  I write this blog to remind myself that in the challenge comes satisfaction.  I am writing to keep myself from dwelling on mistakes. I am writing so that I can celebrate myself and all the moments of my life.

I was reminded today and have been reminded repeatedly this week that I am not the woman that I was 10 years ago.  I have grown and changed.  Everyday I learn and I am a little better than I was the day before.  I am moving forward rather than staying in place.  I have choice in my life and each moment is an opportunity to be more of who I want to be.

I did good work today.  It was hard but it was good.  I am glad for the challenge and I am glad that I am at a place where I am learning to praise myself. (Praise makes me VERY uncomfortable)

Now I am going to do laundry, watch television and drink a glass (or two) of wine...