Home-Coming

This weekend is homecoming weekend here at Dartmouth.  It is a big deal around here.  A giant wooden bonfire is built in the center of the green and then burnt down as the first-year class runs around it.  It is very Lord of the Flies.  All sorts of alums come back to campus for this weekend.  For some alums it is a tradition that they share with their children.  They watch this fire burn and go to the football game and return to this campus and feel as though they have come home.

This is a strange weekend for me because as an alum the expectation would be that I am enthralled with this tradition and that I am eager and excited to see people that I haven't seen in over 10 years and didn't care all that much about.  Or that I am eager to come "home" to Dartmouth.  It was never true for me.  When I left, I never felt this gravitational pull to return to my alma mater.  In fact, it is still a strange experience for me that I am back here at all.

Working here, this weekend is chaos and hard work.  Our office is responsible for building the giant wooden structure and getting the students organized.  This weekend is also full of worry because sometimes students do stupid things and get into trouble.  There is so much hoopla happening that I worry on big weekends.

What is nice though is that my former students come back and I get to see them.  Our office hosts an alumni reception during this time where we invite our old students back to say hello and catch-up.  I was able to see some of my favorite students.  Students that are doing amazing things with their lives and that are working hard on discovering who they are outside of college and finding their place in this great big world.  They give some of the best hugs and are beautiful reminders of why this work is so important.  These are students that I worked with for years as they navigated through the many land-mines of young adulthood and the craziness of college.  They are wonderful.

All this homecoming discussion has made me think about home and where I feel at home.  It is strange that I actually call the Upper Valley home these days and I don't mean it ironically.  I feel at home here.  I have moved around so much in my life that I don't know if location actually has anything to do with home.  I am at home here because I have been lucky enough to find people that I love and that care about me.  This place is quickly filling with good memories that are replacing the negative ones from my days as a student.  Working here at Dartmouth has allowed me to heal the person I was and find home.

I also have come to realize that I carry home around with me.  Home is curled up with a glass of wine with my BFF.  Home is my mom and my niece and the laughter.   Home is SLTP and the Collis Center.  Home is the satisfaction of a job well done.  Home is karaoke and table one.  Home is all of the joy, laughter, hope, tears and pain of life and a life well-lived.