LiBloWriMo = FAIL

Wow, so my goal to write everyday in November was a total bust.  In all honestly, it has been a challenging month in general.  I've been wallowing in my own head and full of doubt, sadness, concern, loneliness, confusion, etc.

Sounds like a blast, doesn't it?  I think the amazing author at hyperbole and a half describes the feeling perfectly in her most recent post.

I did do some productive things this month that needed to be done.

1. I made an appointment with a doctor and had a physical exam.  This may seem routine but I really DISLIKE going to doctors.  I have had a slew of unpleasant and borderline hateful experiences in the doctor's office.  So, what do I do?  I avoid, avoid, avoid.  Not a good idea.  I do not suggest it.  I finally went to the doctor and I had a great experience.  I think it was such a great experience because I had an appointment with a nurse practitioner rather than a doctor.  They are generally so much more humane in their treatment of people.  I set up some goals with the doctor and have another 
2. I went to the dentist.  I actually like going to the dentist.  I mean, I don't enjoy getting my teeth cleaned but I like having clean teeth afterwards.  I have just gotten really bad about attending to my dental needs in the last few years.   
3. I took care of some other miscellaneous things.   I can't remember what they were but I remember feeling productive and like I accomplished something. 

November was a fleeting month.  I spent most of it either sad or angry.  I'm digging out of it.  The first step was going back to karaoke.  That sounds insane, doesn't it?  It is true.  Karaoke makes me feel good and it takes my mind off of work and other things.  It is a purely selfish act.  I do it because I love it.  It had lost some of its glitter since JH left but I think it was associated with so many people that I truly loved leaving.

I made some health decisions.  Watching my stepfather get sick over and over again is a reality check for me.  I know that I can't keep illness at bay but I can take better care of myself.  Thus the above mentioned doctor's appointments.  Baby steps on this front.  I'm trying to develop habits and not quick fixes.  I have been down this road before and when I try to change too much at one time I end up beating myself up and feeling like a failure.  I need to hold my perfectionist tendencies at bay on this one.  So far (1) no eating after 9pm; (2) Limited soda consumption; and (3) drinking more water. Those are going really well so far.  Next on the list (1) more fruits & veggies; (2) protein at every meal; and (3) reduce refined carbs.

I made some life decisions.  Choice is an important thing. 

November...working on ending the month on a high note.