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Just sayin'

Flash Mob

It was a good day at work.  Part of the reason why is the below video.  Enjoy today's flash mob in Collis.

Students make me proud

There are so many time when the students that I work for make me so very proud.  In the last few days the students on campus have been standing up and making a difference.  They have been speaking their mind and doing what is right.  These students that stood up for civil behavior on campus.  I am so proud to know Dani Levin.  She is a strong, thoughtful, passionate and compassionate woman. 

The below clip was created by students and speaks to the culture that is prevailing at Dartmouth around drinking & sexual assault.  Neither is a happy topic or one that brings joy, but the students that say what they need to say for the right in any number of mediums do bring me joy and make me proud.

PRIDE

This is PRIDE week at Dartmouth.  The students have done a great job putting together a week long series of educational and fun programming.  I am proud of them.  Events like these make me marvel at how far the school has come in so many ways.  When I was a student it was a challenge to celebrate National Coming Out Day.  We certainly didn't have a week long celebration and we didn't hang the flag from the pillars of the Collis Center.

The flag hanging from the pillars is one of the reasons that I love the office/building I work in and why I am so proud of the Bossman.  Three years ago when we put that flag up, there was so much backlash and concern.  He stuck to his guns and said it fit in with out core values as a student center and as a college. Now, it is a staple and LGBTQ students can see public acceptance and celebration of who they are.

Funny toys (revisited)

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a blog entry about these "plush microbes" that I thought were hilarious and cute.

Today as I looked around my office I realized that I already owned one of these microbes.  I own the one called the "kissing disease", otherwise known as Mono.  I received as a gift from one of my fave students CC when he graduated.  I remember the conversation when he gave it to me.  He knew that I would find it both super cute and freaking hilarious.  Of course, I do.

It was a nice feeling to know how well your students can know you sometimes and how you can forget certain things until something jars you or until you take the time to look around your office.

Here's a picture of my little plush microbe at home on her shelf.

"Kising Disease"

Warm Fuzzies...

Yesterday was a wonderful day of warm fuzzies...

I received an incredible email from a former student.  She has been having some challenges and we spent some time on the phone discussing them.  She sent me a beautiful email.  She said:

I just wanted to thank you again for being in my life and for looking out for me.


There are so many people in my own life that do this for me.  It is lovely and humbling to know that I have an impact on someone else's life.  It is also a bit hard for me to manage.  I get uncomfortable and squirrelly with compliments and thanks.  Yet another thing I am working on being better about.  I am thankful that I can be a part of her life and that she allows me to be a piece of her world.  I feel eternally grateful for my students and the small role I get to play in their lives and the amazing lessons they teach me.

I got to see another SLTP friend.  We had coffee.  We laughed.  We talked.  We cared for each other.  It was another reminder of the amazing connections and heart-lines that are in my life.  These moments of meaningful connections.  Times when we reach out to the people that matter to us and connect.  In those moments are past shared experiences and future anticipated moments and the very precious present.  Sometimes I am amazed at the number of people in my life that I see rarely and yet are so deeply connected to my life and who I am so genuinely happy to see.  These people fill me with love and joy.

Last night I arrived home and checked my mail.  In my mailbox was an envelope from the lovely SH and inside it was full of SLTP-style WARM FUZZIES!  Thank you for the heart-touch.

Good work

I am emotionally wiped-out.

It was a very long and difficult day.  It was a day of student issues that triggered some very unpleasant memories of my own time in college.  My 4 years of college was not easy.  I felt as though I fought every day for my place at the table.  I worked with a student today whose life is very complicated.  The institution has rules that are supposed to work for everyone but they don't and when they run up against a life, a human, a situation that doesn't fit into the neat box that was created they sometimes have a hard time dealing with it.  It was hard not to cry tears of frustration and pain and sadness in front of the student.  It was a moment of remembering to empathize but not put my own experiences and emotions onto him and help guide him to his own path.  The outcome was better than I anticipated but still gut-wrenching and difficult to swallow.

Sometimes I feel like I write these messages and they don't seem like joyful posts at all.  I am writing this blog to help keep me from sliding into the pain and negativity that days like today could create.  I write this blog to remind myself that in the challenge comes satisfaction.  I am writing to keep myself from dwelling on mistakes. I am writing so that I can celebrate myself and all the moments of my life.

I was reminded today and have been reminded repeatedly this week that I am not the woman that I was 10 years ago.  I have grown and changed.  Everyday I learn and I am a little better than I was the day before.  I am moving forward rather than staying in place.  I have choice in my life and each moment is an opportunity to be more of who I want to be.

I did good work today.  It was hard but it was good.  I am glad for the challenge and I am glad that I am at a place where I am learning to praise myself. (Praise makes me VERY uncomfortable)

Now I am going to do laundry, watch television and drink a glass (or two) of wine...

Empowering students...

One of the things I love most about working at a college is those moments where students stand up and say something and do it in an articulate and thoughtful way.  Today is one of those days.

There is a lot of discussion about sexual assault on campus right now after an anonymous song went out to women all over campus warning them to be careful of fraternity basements.  One student wrote a wonderful op-ed in today's campus paper in response to the attempts to turn a blind eye, blame the victim or become defensive.  I am proud of this student.

Yesterday students also got together and participated in the You-Are-Loved Chalk Messages event.  It is a small thing, but small things often have unseen but large impact.  Here are the promised picture.

You are Loved....

One of the things that we will be doing on campus is participating in a program called "You-Are-Loved Chalk Messages Project" on Monday.  One of our student organizations has organized it and we will be chalking messages of belonging and hope on campus.

http://chalkmessages.org/

I am proud of our students for responding to the call to action

Words are powerful. Speak with love.

- LGBTQ individuals are still often made to feel isolated and alone. 

- Anywhere from 25-50% of LGBTQ youth are initially rejected by their families upon coming out.

- An estimated 60% of LGBTQ youth feel unsafe in American schools due to their sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

- An estimated 20-40% of homeless youth in New York City identify as LGBTQ.

- LGBTQ youth are still four to nine times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers. 

- LGBTQ individuals of all ages are at an increased risk for developing symptoms of anxiety and depression from institutionalized discrimination.

Doing something....

I am heartbroken by the suicide of Tyler Clementi.  I am heartbroken by the pain that we cause each other for no reason other than fear.

I started writing this post on Friday.  I got the very first sentence out before I started crying in my office.  I work at a college.  I work with students every single day and feel the depth of their desire to belong and to feel welcome.  A big part of my job is to help find ways to give them connection to each other, to the campus community and to the world at large.  Everyday I see the many little things that we all do to each other that cause such pain.  Most of the time these things are passed off as "jokes".

It isn't funny.

I have been lucky enough to work with an extraordinary program called SLTP - the Student Leadership Training Program - that has been naming this very real and very devastating problem with bullying and hazing for a long time now.  Why does it take death for the rest of the world to wonder, to question, to say something...?  When do we stop hiding ourselves behind the idea that "boys will be boys" or "girls will be girls"?  When do we stop saying that this is a phase or that it will make us stronger?  How many students have to be hurt before we start expecting more from ourselves and standing up for those that feel so beaten down they can't stand up for themselves?

I work on a college campus and need to do something.  I am working with a group of colleagues to start a dialogue, do some training and start reaching out to students.  It is good to feel like we are doing something and I have hope that it may make a difference.  We work on a college campus with students...It is our responsibility to care and to act.

This isn't a post about joy but about action.  I don't know who is reading this but I urge you to act in whatever ways you are able.  Every small thing makes an impact.  Please make yours.

Ellen's message to the world

Drop-ins and emails

I don't know if I have said this already but I love my students.  Even when they are being difficult and challenging and unreasonable or just plain boneheaded....I enjoy them and am glad that I get to work with them everyday.  When I find myself irritated about work I have discovered it is never because of the students but mostly because of the politics that the "adults" are involved with - but I digress...

The last few days I have had wonderful visits both face-to-face and electronically from students new and old.  They have come back to campus full of news about their travels far and wide.  They have come back to campus brimming with excitement, anxiety, eagerness and curiosity. These students drop-by my office, some I have known for 3 years and some I met just last week.  I am lucky enough to get to chat with them about their lives and about their coming year.  I get to hear all their plans and stories.  We get to laugh together.  Whether it is a few stolen moments or a conversation that lasts longer than we realized - those are the times I work for.  The lives I am lucky enough to be a part of and that leave me deeply marked and changed.

When I am really lucky, I get to hear from those students again after they have left Dartmouth.  I receive emails, like the one I received from a dear student just yesterday, that overflow with the life lessons they are learning out in their new world.  These messages are different then the communications we had when they were students.  They are more informal now that they are no longer my student.  And yet, so many things are still the same.  They still are full of questions, joy, anxiety and wisdom that comes with each new day.

I am very lucky indeed.

Caught you!

I will admit that I take great pleasure in the awkward interactions I have with students when I have caught them doing something that they don't want me to see.  Usually, it is that I have caught one of the students that I work closely with drunk and doing something stupid.  I live basically on campus and on the nights that I work late or am out with friends, I walk down the hill to my house and pass countless students.  Usually these moments of passing are innocuous, pleasant and generally forgettable...but occasionally, I meet one of "my students".  I meet a student that I work closely with and they are in a position they do not want me to witness.

Tonight, I ran into SM with a group of friends.  I was walking home and he was just walking.  He was singing loudly and laughing.  He had clearly had a few beverages.  Then he sees me.  There is a moment where he struggles to make a decision about whether to ignore me or to acknowledge me.  He is torn but I make the decision for him and say "Hi SM"!!  I am perky and cheery.  I wave.  He is awkward but acknowledges me.  It doesn't matter the student, it is a similar story every time.

I keep walking reveling in the awkward encounter and chuckling as the sound of the student acknowledging to his peers that I am his advisor wafts down to my ears.  I enjoy the awkward interaction.

Let the joy commence

Today I was rocked by joy.  

I was working tonight until 1am at an orientation event.  I work at a small liberal arts college and have the dubious responsibility of helping plan social programming for our orientation week.  Tonight was karaoke and a dance party.  I LOVE karaoke.  I enjoy singing it, but more importantly I enjoy watching other people sing it.  I love when people truly love a song and whether they can sing well or not carry a tune, they throw their entire selves into the song.  

Tonight, I watched as student after student sang songs they loved, cheered each other on and danced while their classmates sang.  They supported each other.  They laughed and danced and sang.  

It was beautiful.  

As I walked home from work, I realized that I was smiling and I stopped in my path to pay attention to that feeling.  It was this warm glowy feeling of joy.  I was glad that I noticed it.  I want to remember it.  I am the only person that can notice my joy and let joy embue my life.  So here I am - starting this blog to document my year of joy!