Someone that I care about asked me today (or technically yesterday since it is 1:13am) if I knew who I was without work or caring for other people. It made me think. Is there something wrong? Do I not know who I am? Do I care too much?
I didn't respond immediately.
The answer to the question is no, I don't know who i am without work or without caring for other people because without that care, I'm not who I am. Caring and a deep desire to have an impact, to make a difference....those are at my core. I believe in respect. I believe in justice. I believe in love. I believe that love and care are the pathways to true justice. I don't stand for anything if I don't stand for that.
Is caring painful sometimes? Absolutely. Do I sometimes feel tired? Absolutely.
Regardless, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Do I need to sometimes figure out how to not get taken advantage of because I care so much about some things? Absolutely. But I know where my lines are. I know how I should be treated. I know what I believe to be right.
There are too many people in the world these days trying to tell me that I care too much. Wondering about why I stay at my job when so many people seem to be jumping ship. It is because I believe that the work I do truly makes a difference.
Do I sometimes lose sight of that belief? Absolutely. Do I sometimes struggle with the individual politics and petty mindgames of others? ABSOLUTELY.
But I find I don't struggle long because I know what I stand for. I care about people. I work from the heart.
Some may see it as a flaw but I think it is one of my greatest strengths.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Senior Citizen's Prom
Tonight I got a phone call from my mother to tell me that on the Channel 5 public station in East Hartford they were playing a segment they call the Time Capsule and I was on TV.
I immediately figured that it was some horrendous newscast that I used to do with my friend DW when we were in high school. Yes, that's right. Between the years of 1995 and 1997, I was one of the EHHS correspondents on Channel 5. DW and I would do a weekly broadcast, that we would normally write in the car on the way there, about all the news and happenings at the high school. It was hilarious. We never really knew where to look. We always looked like we were listening too earnestly or were trying not to laugh. Both of which were usually true. Although often, I was just off camera trying very hard to make DW laugh during his broadcast. I am so glad Youtube didn't exist when I was a younger version of myself.
But NO, that is not what was showing. Instead what was showing was a recorded version of the Senior Citizen's prom from 1997. There in all of our splendor were me and my friends dancing with the senior citizenry of East Hartford. Every year we put on this incredible prom from the folks and we would dress in gowns and tuxedos and serve them a full meal. We would learn basic ballroom steps ans dance the night away. We always threw in a good bunny hop, chicken dance and electric slide. My mom was just sitting there watching my 14 years ago and all my friends. She was rattling off names over the phone and laughing at us as we danced.
I remember those events so fondly. I mostly loved my high school experience because I was able to do some great things and do things that I felt mattered. I always felt like I was making a difference in my school and for my community. It is an incredible thing.
I have no idea why they were playing that particular year's prom. But I'm glad they were. It brought back really wonderful memories.
I immediately figured that it was some horrendous newscast that I used to do with my friend DW when we were in high school. Yes, that's right. Between the years of 1995 and 1997, I was one of the EHHS correspondents on Channel 5. DW and I would do a weekly broadcast, that we would normally write in the car on the way there, about all the news and happenings at the high school. It was hilarious. We never really knew where to look. We always looked like we were listening too earnestly or were trying not to laugh. Both of which were usually true. Although often, I was just off camera trying very hard to make DW laugh during his broadcast. I am so glad Youtube didn't exist when I was a younger version of myself.
But NO, that is not what was showing. Instead what was showing was a recorded version of the Senior Citizen's prom from 1997. There in all of our splendor were me and my friends dancing with the senior citizenry of East Hartford. Every year we put on this incredible prom from the folks and we would dress in gowns and tuxedos and serve them a full meal. We would learn basic ballroom steps ans dance the night away. We always threw in a good bunny hop, chicken dance and electric slide. My mom was just sitting there watching my 14 years ago and all my friends. She was rattling off names over the phone and laughing at us as we danced.
I remember those events so fondly. I mostly loved my high school experience because I was able to do some great things and do things that I felt mattered. I always felt like I was making a difference in my school and for my community. It is an incredible thing.
I have no idea why they were playing that particular year's prom. But I'm glad they were. It brought back really wonderful memories.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Letter to self
Today in the mail I got my letter to self. Every summer at SLTP we write a letter to ourselves. And every January we receive that letter. I am always surprised, even when I know it is coming. There is something strange about seeing your own handwriting in your mailbox. The letter this year is so poignant to me right now. It is as though I really had projected myself into the future and wrote exactly what my future self needed to hear.
On July 17, 2010, I wrote:
Dear Self-
Thank you for taking the chance and the time to SLTP. TLC was a great experience. While the lessons were important what you really learned was about yourself. Please remember the things you value. Please remember that the reason you are good at your job is because you care deeply and believe that the work you do makes a real and tangible difference in the world. I am sure that when you get this letter you will be busy. Busy is goo as long as it is busy doing things you love. Are you doing things you love? Have you allowed SLTP to slip to the back burner? Are you still singing karaoke? Are you making change? Remember that you are not alone even when it feels like it. You have a solid foundation - stand strong on it.
Questions to ask yourself:
-- Is your apt. clean? Why not?
-- Are you still exercising?
-- Are you actively connecting to the world around you?
-- Have you found love? Why not?
-- Are you still loving your job more than you hate it?
-- Are you building your friendships?
-- Are you being true?
-- Are you happy?
I love you. I don't always remember that but I do! I am pretty awesome.
Love,
Liz
Such good questions I asked myself. Important reminders to myself.
Letters to self - another reason that I love mail!
On July 17, 2010, I wrote:
Dear Self-
Thank you for taking the chance and the time to SLTP. TLC was a great experience. While the lessons were important what you really learned was about yourself. Please remember the things you value. Please remember that the reason you are good at your job is because you care deeply and believe that the work you do makes a real and tangible difference in the world. I am sure that when you get this letter you will be busy. Busy is goo as long as it is busy doing things you love. Are you doing things you love? Have you allowed SLTP to slip to the back burner? Are you still singing karaoke? Are you making change? Remember that you are not alone even when it feels like it. You have a solid foundation - stand strong on it.
Questions to ask yourself:
-- Is your apt. clean? Why not?
-- Are you still exercising?
-- Are you actively connecting to the world around you?
-- Have you found love? Why not?
-- Are you still loving your job more than you hate it?
-- Are you building your friendships?
-- Are you being true?
-- Are you happy?
I love you. I don't always remember that but I do! I am pretty awesome.
Love,
Liz
Such good questions I asked myself. Important reminders to myself.
Letters to self - another reason that I love mail!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
New Favorite Quote
I have been saying for awhile now that students need to do something. I want them to stand up for what they believe. I want them to take action.
Apparently, John Sloan Dickey, former president of Dartmouth college agreed with me when he said:
"In all your learning get not only wisdom but also build the will and acquire the capacity for doing something about those things which need doing."
I could not agree more!!
Apparently, John Sloan Dickey, former president of Dartmouth college agreed with me when he said:
"In all your learning get not only wisdom but also build the will and acquire the capacity for doing something about those things which need doing."
I could not agree more!!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
COLD day - WARM snuggie
I know that I have written odes to my snuggie in previous post. Today as the temperature drops below zero, I am so super grateful for my snuggie, warm blankets, cozy sockies, and heat.
As the temperature drops, I can't help but think about those families that don't have heat, that are struggling this winter. My family has been in dire straits before and have gone through difficult winters. I am deeply grateful for what I have and hope that I can find ways to help those that need it.
As the temperature drops, I can't help but think about those families that don't have heat, that are struggling this winter. My family has been in dire straits before and have gone through difficult winters. I am deeply grateful for what I have and hope that I can find ways to help those that need it.
Making plans
In two weeks (Feb 4-6) I will be in Boston to see my two favorite Lauras! yay!
I am very excited about having plans and for getting a chance to see my friends. It also happens to be the weekend of an LI meeting for SLTP.
It is going to be a great weekend of great people. I'm excited for future plans...
I am very excited about having plans and for getting a chance to see my friends. It also happens to be the weekend of an LI meeting for SLTP.
It is going to be a great weekend of great people. I'm excited for future plans...
Frank conversation
I have to admit that it makes me feel good when I am able to have a frank conversation with my family about uncomfortable things.
Today I had a conversation with my mom about living will and funeral preparations and stuff like that. No one is dying. This is not a conversation that was prompted by any imminent danger. I just think it is important. I think everyone should prepare and should have their wishes in writing.
Lots of people seem to think this is a morbid conversation...I think it is practical and important. I am glad that my mom is open to having these conversations. There are too many things that people don't talk about. Too many things that go left unsaid in our lives. I'm glad to have been able to have a real conversation about something important.
Today I had a conversation with my mom about living will and funeral preparations and stuff like that. No one is dying. This is not a conversation that was prompted by any imminent danger. I just think it is important. I think everyone should prepare and should have their wishes in writing.
Lots of people seem to think this is a morbid conversation...I think it is practical and important. I am glad that my mom is open to having these conversations. There are too many things that people don't talk about. Too many things that go left unsaid in our lives. I'm glad to have been able to have a real conversation about something important.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Skype
Technology is quite an incredible thing. I haven't really played with Skype much until recently. It is a pretty cool way to keep in touch with people and stay connected.
Today was a key example. I haven't been able to make it to many of the SLTP skillshop sessions this year because without a car and the increasing winter snow it has been super challenging. The amazingness of technology allowed me to tune into a special skillshop today.
SLTP is one of those places where I feel at home and comfortable. It is where my heart core and my brain connect and I feel whole. The way I feel at SLTP is how I am trying to feel in the rest of my life. Like I've said in a previous post, my brain and heart don't always connect...I want my brain and actions to be connected to my heart. I want my actions to be grounded in what I believe and what I feel.
On my dry erase board at work right now is the quote from MLK that says, "It is always the right time to what is right." For me, that is the embodiment of what it means for my core and my brain to be connected.
Today was a key example. I haven't been able to make it to many of the SLTP skillshop sessions this year because without a car and the increasing winter snow it has been super challenging. The amazingness of technology allowed me to tune into a special skillshop today.
SLTP is one of those places where I feel at home and comfortable. It is where my heart core and my brain connect and I feel whole. The way I feel at SLTP is how I am trying to feel in the rest of my life. Like I've said in a previous post, my brain and heart don't always connect...I want my brain and actions to be connected to my heart. I want my actions to be grounded in what I believe and what I feel.
On my dry erase board at work right now is the quote from MLK that says, "It is always the right time to what is right." For me, that is the embodiment of what it means for my core and my brain to be connected.
Good night
Last night was a great night. Me & my BFF have been beyond busy. This means we haven't been able to see each other for long periods of time or for anything other than routine check-ins. Last night we got to spend time with each other. We laughed. We drank. We danced around. We laughed. Did I repeat that? Well, it is that important.
It was one of those really great nights. We didn't do anything extraordinary. There were no bells or whistles. It was just two friends enjoying each other's company and basking in shared laughter, experience and love.
It was a night where I was reminded again how lucky I am to be loved and to have people I love in return.
It was one of those really great nights. We didn't do anything extraordinary. There were no bells or whistles. It was just two friends enjoying each other's company and basking in shared laughter, experience and love.
It was a night where I was reminded again how lucky I am to be loved and to have people I love in return.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Grateful
At the end of every staff meeting, we end by going around and saying something that each of us is grateful for. It is sometimes challenging because we get stuck in the task-y pieces of our lives and our jobs. Yet, taking that few minutes to express my own gratitude and to hear the moments of gratitude from others is important. It is a part of what makes our office special and what keeps us able to do the good work we do.
I am very grateful to work with the people I do and in an office that continues to remember what is important about our work, continues to have great vision and continues to strive to impact students in important ways.
I am very grateful to work with the people I do and in an office that continues to remember what is important about our work, continues to have great vision and continues to strive to impact students in important ways.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Giraffe - stages of change
This video is both an accurate representation of the stages of change and makes me laugh....
I've been sharing it with everyone I know because I believe that many of the people dear to me (including myself) are locked in this cycle of emotion.
My least personal favorite stage but my FAVORITE stage in the video is depression. :)
I've been sharing it with everyone I know because I believe that many of the people dear to me (including myself) are locked in this cycle of emotion.
My least personal favorite stage but my FAVORITE stage in the video is depression. :)
4 feet tall
That is how tall my 5 year old niece is.
I received a phone call from her today informing me that she was 4 feet tall and 66 pounds. She was very proud of that fact as am I. She's a towering giant and I love her.
:)
I received a phone call from her today informing me that she was 4 feet tall and 66 pounds. She was very proud of that fact as am I. She's a towering giant and I love her.
:)
Joy is not so serious
I have been taking myself and my joy way to seriously. I have been waiting for something meaningful to post and have forgotten that the pure expression of joy in the mundane, the ridiculous, the irreverent, the fantastic, the awesome, the amusing, the strange, the absurd, the profound, the deep, the challenging, the everyday....is the purpose itself.
So here's to remembering to take my quest to take myself less seriously, more seriously. :)
Things that brought me joy today:
So here's to remembering to take my quest to take myself less seriously, more seriously. :)
Things that brought me joy today:
- Velcro
- students having the courage to engage in conversation and make themselves vulnerable
- strengthsquest
- my scarf
- mountain dew
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
It Gets Better
I really love the "It Gets Better" campaign. I think the message of hope is so important to people. Hope that change can happen and that people can live through pain. I hope that the teachers, parents, counselors, principals, politicians, etc really listen to the campaign because I believe that we can make it better TODAY.
We don't have to wait until we "get older" for things to get better. We can use our words carefully NOW. We can be kind, caring, compassionate and respectful TODAY. We can DO SOMETHING to make things better now, so that more of our young people will live to see tomorrow when it can be even better.
I love the below video. I especially love that the creator of it reminds us that it isn't just members of the LGBTQ community that get bullied but all sorts of people that are considered different. I would add that bullying doesn't stop at the high school graduation but can continue into college and the workforce.
We must make it better. We can make a difference. I truly believe that we can change things and make it okay....to be...to breathe...to live....to love...to dream.
We don't have to wait until we "get older" for things to get better. We can use our words carefully NOW. We can be kind, caring, compassionate and respectful TODAY. We can DO SOMETHING to make things better now, so that more of our young people will live to see tomorrow when it can be even better.
I love the below video. I especially love that the creator of it reminds us that it isn't just members of the LGBTQ community that get bullied but all sorts of people that are considered different. I would add that bullying doesn't stop at the high school graduation but can continue into college and the workforce.
We must make it better. We can make a difference. I truly believe that we can change things and make it okay....to be...to breathe...to live....to love...to dream.
Monday, January 10, 2011
busy, busy, busy
I have been super busy (continue to be super busy).
The great thing is that for the first time in a long time I am completely doing the work that matters and not drowning in politics and other nonsense.
Students are great. Colleagues are great.
Life is good.
Although I continually wonder WTF is going on with the bird and wtf is going on in arizona.
The great thing is that for the first time in a long time I am completely doing the work that matters and not drowning in politics and other nonsense.
Students are great. Colleagues are great.
Life is good.
Although I continually wonder WTF is going on with the bird and wtf is going on in arizona.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
One good F-Bomb
I will admit that sometimes nothing gives me more joy than releasing a good F-bomb into the universe. Today is one of those days where a little expletive venting really made me feel better.
Breathe and release...
:)
Enjoy the below Cee-Lo song selection (contains graphic lyrics)
Breathe and release...
:)
Enjoy the below Cee-Lo song selection (contains graphic lyrics)
Monday, January 3, 2011
Self Care: New Years Resolution Version
Everyone is going on and on about new years resolutions. I don't really have a new years resolution but rather a continuation of this joy/self-care journey that I have been on.
- Floss my teeth at least once a day.
- Make sure there are no dirty dishes in the sink when I go to sleep.
- Put lotion on to keep my skin from getting dry and cracked during the winter.
- Do one thing to pamper myself a week.
- Laugh more than 5 times a day.
- Schedule time for reflection.
- Forgive myself more.
- Celebrate myself more (This one is from my friend FS. He asked me about my resolutions and I told him number 5 and he said that he thought I should celebrate myself more. He is correct!)
Those are my current steps to self-care & joy. Slowly making little bitty changes to make my life more joyful, more meaningful and more full of gratitude and love.
Start with the small things...
NKOTB & Backstreet Boys
On Dick Clark's Rockin' New Years Eve, New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys performed. I have to admit that it made me insanely HAPPY!
I am such a child of the boy band era. Add some New Edition and N'Sync to the mix and I would be in heaven. (Boy Band sidenote: I actually prefer N'Sync to Backstreet Boys - like totally way, way, way prefer - hee hee).
I actually may save some cash and treat myself to concert tickets for my birthday - the concert is in June. Giant waste of money - but totally well worth it. I mean why would I miss such a quality reunion tour. LOL
Back-Streets-Back - ALRIGHT!
I am such a child of the boy band era. Add some New Edition and N'Sync to the mix and I would be in heaven. (Boy Band sidenote: I actually prefer N'Sync to Backstreet Boys - like totally way, way, way prefer - hee hee).
I actually may save some cash and treat myself to concert tickets for my birthday - the concert is in June. Giant waste of money - but totally well worth it. I mean why would I miss such a quality reunion tour. LOL
Back-Streets-Back - ALRIGHT!
Reunions
Over the last year MANY people have left the college that I work at and have gone onto to new experiences in their lives. While I have been VERY happy for them, I have been selfishly sad for the loss of them in my daily life.
Over the break, I got to see MF & MdSM. They were back in the area visiting family for the holidays and SI and I drove down to southern New Hampshire to meet them. It was really lovely to see them. I miss M so much.
In honor of these dear friends....here is the Golden Girls Theme song.
Over the break, I got to see MF & MdSM. They were back in the area visiting family for the holidays and SI and I drove down to southern New Hampshire to meet them. It was really lovely to see them. I miss M so much.
In honor of these dear friends....here is the Golden Girls Theme song.
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