I have said before that I believe in Santa Claus. I don't believe that there is truly a jolly ole man in a red suit that has flying reindeer and delivers gifts in one night by sliding down chimneys. I do believe in the power of that image though.
I have engaged in discussion about whether telling kids about Santa Claus is lying to them. I can see how it can be considered lying but it is a story that I would tell every kid. It isn't about presents but about joy and laughter. Santa is about imagination and belief and magic.
I believe in imagination and belief and magic. I believe in kindness and joy and connection.
Santa is all of those things. The story of Santa is a story that imagines all of us connected to each other.
It was fun to see my niece enjoy the story of Santa Claus and see her believing and imagining. I believe in Santa Claus.
"I Believe in Santa Claus" From Year Without a Santa Claus"
Monday, December 27, 2010
A very happy Christmas
It was really nice to go home and see my family. I have missed my mom. Christmas is a good time at my house because all of the petty squabbling and stuff is put aside. We have always taken the Christmas holiday as a way to be happy with each other's company and to indulge in small pleasures. It is something that I am trying to do more often now.
Growing up we never had money but we always had music, laughter and games. It is the thing that we return to every holiday. We put aside all the strife and the pain and the struggle and remember the small things that bring us joy and join our family.
We colored in coloring books with Annalisse. We played Yahtzee. We watched Iron Chef America. We had Jello shots. We laughed. We danced around to all types of music. We ate good food. We baked. It was a really wonderful time.
My family is struggling and it makes me sad. I do what I can for them. I love them dearly.
I am very grateful for having them in my life and for the gift of laughter. Despite everything going on in the world, in our lives - we always found ways to laugh.
I was reminded this Christmas of this gift that my mother gave me. It is something I hold precious and dear to my heart.
It was a very happy Christmas indeed.
Growing up we never had money but we always had music, laughter and games. It is the thing that we return to every holiday. We put aside all the strife and the pain and the struggle and remember the small things that bring us joy and join our family.
We colored in coloring books with Annalisse. We played Yahtzee. We watched Iron Chef America. We had Jello shots. We laughed. We danced around to all types of music. We ate good food. We baked. It was a really wonderful time.
My family is struggling and it makes me sad. I do what I can for them. I love them dearly.
I am very grateful for having them in my life and for the gift of laughter. Despite everything going on in the world, in our lives - we always found ways to laugh.
I was reminded this Christmas of this gift that my mother gave me. It is something I hold precious and dear to my heart.
It was a very happy Christmas indeed.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Holiday Vacation
Starting at 5pm yesterday when I locked up the Collis Center, I am on break until January 3rd.
Locking up the building last night, I found myself a little "verklempt"(is that how it is spelled? ). It has been a long year. Collis has always been my home and my safe space. This year it has offered me sanctuary from the storm happening all around. As I left the building, I found myself thanking the building. I am sure if someone had heard me saying thank you out loud, they would have thought I was crazy. There is something magical about the building. It is a welcoming, comfortable, inclusive space at a place that has few of those spaces. It isn't the most majestic building. It doesn't have all the bells and whistles of other student centers. It doesn't need them. It is a building full love, care, warmth, creativity, passion, laughter and fun. I am lucky to be a small part of the Collis Center history and to keep working to make it the campus living room.
I am looking forward to this break I am looking forward to not being on schedule. I am looking forward to rest and relaxation.
This break is soo important because it is a time to gather energy stores to push through the next 6 months until graduation. There is no break in the work once the new year starts.
I am looking forward to going home to CT to see my family. I can't wait to see my niece wake up on Christmas morning. I want to see the christmas tree. I look forward to sharing some "beverage" with my mom.
I look forward to reading a couple of good books. To organizing some things. To taking care of myself, my space and my loved ones.
I am looking forward to having time to reflect and plan and process.
This break is coming at just the right time and I am so glad.
Locking up the building last night, I found myself a little "verklempt"(is that how it is spelled? ). It has been a long year. Collis has always been my home and my safe space. This year it has offered me sanctuary from the storm happening all around. As I left the building, I found myself thanking the building. I am sure if someone had heard me saying thank you out loud, they would have thought I was crazy. There is something magical about the building. It is a welcoming, comfortable, inclusive space at a place that has few of those spaces. It isn't the most majestic building. It doesn't have all the bells and whistles of other student centers. It doesn't need them. It is a building full love, care, warmth, creativity, passion, laughter and fun. I am lucky to be a small part of the Collis Center history and to keep working to make it the campus living room.
I am looking forward to this break I am looking forward to not being on schedule. I am looking forward to rest and relaxation.
This break is soo important because it is a time to gather energy stores to push through the next 6 months until graduation. There is no break in the work once the new year starts.
I am looking forward to going home to CT to see my family. I can't wait to see my niece wake up on Christmas morning. I want to see the christmas tree. I look forward to sharing some "beverage" with my mom.
I look forward to reading a couple of good books. To organizing some things. To taking care of myself, my space and my loved ones.
I am looking forward to having time to reflect and plan and process.
This break is coming at just the right time and I am so glad.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Free Parking
Today I went to park in a metered parking. I parked the car. I walked over the meter to pay and get my ticket. A woman pulls up next to me and says, I have a ticket that is good until 5pm, would you like it and save yourself some quarters. I said "sure". She handed me the ticket, said Merry Christmas and drove away.
It was a really nice thing. It was a small and random act of kindness. I appreciated and it put a little bounce in my step. I will remember to pass it on.
It was a really nice thing. It was a small and random act of kindness. I appreciated and it put a little bounce in my step. I will remember to pass it on.
Self-Care
Attempting to take care of myself in any number of small, but important, ways..
- Went to the dentist. It has been an unspeakable amount of time since I went to the dentist. It was not pleasant but it was necessary and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Also, it only cost me $6. I am SO blessed to have medical and dental insurance.
- Purchased new toothbrush, toothpaste, floss and mouthwash. Apparently soft bristles are the way to go, alcohol-free mouthwash and FLOSS. I dislike flossing but I like teeth...necessary evils
- Got my haircut. Needed a trim. I told the stylist to do whatever she wanted. It looks cute. it is just hair. :)
- Eyebrows waxed - didn't have time to do it when I was getting my hair cut
- Start swimming again. Attempting to figure out how to make it happen without a car but where there is a will there is a way
- Laundry
- Karaoke
- Glee
- BFF & other friends
- LAUGH
- Leave work at a reasonable (to be determined what that means) hour
- eat more veggies
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
The Sing Off
As I have been responding to email, updating the blog, I have been watching the show called The Sing Off. It is great because I got to see all the episodes in one evening instead of over numerous weeks. Talented people amaze me and these people are definitely talented. I should be finding out who wins shortly...
Here are my favorite songs:
The Backbeats do Gaga
Street Corner Symphony - Down on the Corner
The Backbeats - Landslide
Jerry Lawson & Talk of the Town - House of the Rising Sun
Here are my favorite songs:
The Backbeats do Gaga
Street Corner Symphony - Down on the Corner
The Backbeats - Landslide
Jerry Lawson & Talk of the Town - House of the Rising Sun
In that vein...
I have about 7 posts that are half written about moments that truly brought me joy. Here is a quick recap to catch me up on my own life.
- Coming back from Tampa it made me so happy to see the christmas tree on the Hanover green and main street decorated in garland and twinkle lights.
- On both my flights back from Tampa, I had NO ONE sitting next to me. It was awesome.
- Browsing bookstores is the best.
- I used to have a regular standing Sushi dinner date with LS before she moved away. Since her departure I haven't taken myself to sushi in ages. I really like it and am glad I took myself to lunch.
- Dates with myself - I need to remember to schedule more dates with myself
- Sleeping late - I know I actually did write a post about this - but it bears repeating.
- christmas cards- I like to write them, browse through them and receive them
- ridiculous buttons with hilarious (and often VERY true) sayings on them. For example, I received one from SI today that read "We make up our own answers around here." SO dang true!
- The great game of bananagrams
- pictures of my niece on Santa's knee
- figures of swimming santas...
Starting fresh...
The thing that I didn't anticipate in writing this blog is that I was inviting people into my life in a very real way. I haven't been writing much lately. Have I been busy? Sure. I haven't been busy enough that I can't write.
I've been struggling. I have been having an epic battle between my brain and my heart. I don't know how to clearly explain what that means. All I can say is that I sometimes feel things deeply. I know them in my core but I can't explain why I feel the way that I do. Often, these feelings are in contrast to what my head tells me is the best course of action. Or in conflict with what my head says is the "rational" thing to do. It is the moment when the thing that my brain or people around me are telling me is the best course of action is the very thing that makes me feel bad or sick to stomach or just a little bit not right. It isn't easy to listen to my heart over my brain. Or to find the balance between brain and heart.
Sometimes I momentarily misplace my internal compass and I am left struggling to find my way back to myself. Sometimes these life detours are brief. Like this one. They last for a few days or a couple of weeks. Sometimes they are longer - a month or two or more. Longer ones can often be dark times for me. All this to say that usually when it happens, people may notice that my demeanor has changed slightly or I don't laugh quite as quickly but I am able to fake it pretty well (except from Dr. J or my BFF who can see right through any facade). Well with this blog, people have noticed that I haven't been writing as much and that has led them to be concerned and ask me if I am okay, etc.
This realization that people are "following" me and are involved in my life in any way remotely is strange. I write the blog for myself but sharing myself in public is not something I do. I think most people would describe me as outgoing, bubbly, etc... I can certainly be gregarious and loud and boisterous... Yet, it is work for me. I love a good laugh. I can engage as needed. I wouldn't label myself an extrovert though. Sharing myself is hard work. Social settings can be draining for me, especially if I'm not hiding behind a mask. So the public nature of this blog, the fact that people know when I am and am not posting is daunting. It is an important step for me.
Dr. J recently wrote a "wednesday visit" about asking for help. This is a skill that has always been a challenge for me. It starts with being able to share yourself in even the smallest ways with those around you. It starts with being genuine in our interactions. So this blog for me is part of the process of me sharing myself with the world and most importantly sharing myself with myself. That sounds crazy but when I stop fooling myself then I am able to connect with the world more fully.
So, to anyone that is reading this that has asked me how I am...I have been struggling but I can see things clearer again. I have found the arrow on my heart-compass and it is pointing due north again. Every day is a fresh start and another chance to live better than the day before.
Thank you to my dear friends. Thank you to all that have asked how I am doing and waited long enough to hear the real answer. Thank you BFF.
I am lucky indeed.
I've been struggling. I have been having an epic battle between my brain and my heart. I don't know how to clearly explain what that means. All I can say is that I sometimes feel things deeply. I know them in my core but I can't explain why I feel the way that I do. Often, these feelings are in contrast to what my head tells me is the best course of action. Or in conflict with what my head says is the "rational" thing to do. It is the moment when the thing that my brain or people around me are telling me is the best course of action is the very thing that makes me feel bad or sick to stomach or just a little bit not right. It isn't easy to listen to my heart over my brain. Or to find the balance between brain and heart.
Sometimes I momentarily misplace my internal compass and I am left struggling to find my way back to myself. Sometimes these life detours are brief. Like this one. They last for a few days or a couple of weeks. Sometimes they are longer - a month or two or more. Longer ones can often be dark times for me. All this to say that usually when it happens, people may notice that my demeanor has changed slightly or I don't laugh quite as quickly but I am able to fake it pretty well (except from Dr. J or my BFF who can see right through any facade). Well with this blog, people have noticed that I haven't been writing as much and that has led them to be concerned and ask me if I am okay, etc.
This realization that people are "following" me and are involved in my life in any way remotely is strange. I write the blog for myself but sharing myself in public is not something I do. I think most people would describe me as outgoing, bubbly, etc... I can certainly be gregarious and loud and boisterous... Yet, it is work for me. I love a good laugh. I can engage as needed. I wouldn't label myself an extrovert though. Sharing myself is hard work. Social settings can be draining for me, especially if I'm not hiding behind a mask. So the public nature of this blog, the fact that people know when I am and am not posting is daunting. It is an important step for me.
Dr. J recently wrote a "wednesday visit" about asking for help. This is a skill that has always been a challenge for me. It starts with being able to share yourself in even the smallest ways with those around you. It starts with being genuine in our interactions. So this blog for me is part of the process of me sharing myself with the world and most importantly sharing myself with myself. That sounds crazy but when I stop fooling myself then I am able to connect with the world more fully.
So, to anyone that is reading this that has asked me how I am...I have been struggling but I can see things clearer again. I have found the arrow on my heart-compass and it is pointing due north again. Every day is a fresh start and another chance to live better than the day before.
Thank you to my dear friends. Thank you to all that have asked how I am doing and waited long enough to hear the real answer. Thank you BFF.
I am lucky indeed.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Sleeping in...
Today I woke up at 10:45am. I slept for a little bit less than 12 hours. It was incredible.
Agenda for the day:
Agenda for the day:
- Shower Check!
- Walk up to town Check!
- Grab something to eat Had sushi for lunch @ Yama. Absolutely delicious.
- Get quarters from the bank for laundry (well, bank closes at noon and I was slow moving)
- Return library books Hunt for library books - found 2 but can't find the third
- Christmas shopping (any last minute doo-higgies) Check! basically all done with shopping
- Mid-afternoon glass of wine Check! Was hoping to meet up with the BFF but didn't happen.
- Walk home Duh!
- Clean Not even close. LOL
- Wrap presents I wrapped the immediate presents
- Dinner with good friends Yes! Food, friends & board games - good time.
- SLEEP! Give it a minute....Watching Friends now...
Good day. Nothing extraordinary. Life is good.
Dancing
Bossman, DR and I performed this dance number from GLEE at our holiday party. We had lots of attitude and sass. We were really quite excellent. I was Quinn, Bossman was Santana and DR was the Brittany. It was a big hit and an excellent kick-off to the party. In fact, there was an encore request later in the evening. There are no pictures or video....we will do the dance but not broadcast it publicly. It was a great time. Below is the original video along with two of our favorite reinterpretations.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Holiday Shindigs
I am so lucky to work with the people that I work with. I just got home from our annual office holiday potluck and it was so much fun.
I don't know how I got so lucky to work with people that are funny, caring, and dedicated to our work.
I know I haven't posted in awhile. It has been a very busy December. And it has been emotionally draining. It isn't that I haven't been having joyful moments and lots of great times - but that I haven't been reflecting on it. I lost my way for a little while in the joy quest and the desire to live an intentionally joyful life.
Living from the heart is so much harder than living from brain sometimes...Living in joy is living from my heart and I need to keep remembering that.
Luckily I work with amazing people that remind me of what is important both day-to-day in my office and through SLTP. I am so blessed.
I don't know how I got so lucky to work with people that are funny, caring, and dedicated to our work.
I know I haven't posted in awhile. It has been a very busy December. And it has been emotionally draining. It isn't that I haven't been having joyful moments and lots of great times - but that I haven't been reflecting on it. I lost my way for a little while in the joy quest and the desire to live an intentionally joyful life.
Living from the heart is so much harder than living from brain sometimes...Living in joy is living from my heart and I need to keep remembering that.
Luckily I work with amazing people that remind me of what is important both day-to-day in my office and through SLTP. I am so blessed.
Monday, December 13, 2010
First Real Snow
It is snowing.
Right now we are having the first real snow of the winter season. I can't believe that the first snow is coming so late.
It is beautiful. I love snow falling.
I have 3 blog posts in progress...more later. For now, enjoy the soft, falling of the snow.
Right now we are having the first real snow of the winter season. I can't believe that the first snow is coming so late.
It is beautiful. I love snow falling.
I have 3 blog posts in progress...more later. For now, enjoy the soft, falling of the snow.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Wi-Fi
Wireless internet is an incredible thing. I knew someone once that pronounced Wi-Fi as "wee-fee" - it was cute.
I am currently sitting in the Tampa airport and I am able to answer email, write this blog, update my facebook status and other VERY important things.
We live in an incredible world where I can stay connected to all aspects of my life from wherever I am. Right now, my dear from JF is in Ethiopia and I know what is going on in her life through her facebook & blog updates. I was able to respond to email from Hanover with ease. I connected to people I just met at a conference. i have received and responded to emails from current and former students that are all over the country and world.
There are lots of issues with the way that technology functions in the world. Right now, though, I am really quite grateful for it.
I am currently sitting in the Tampa airport and I am able to answer email, write this blog, update my facebook status and other VERY important things.
We live in an incredible world where I can stay connected to all aspects of my life from wherever I am. Right now, my dear from JF is in Ethiopia and I know what is going on in her life through her facebook & blog updates. I was able to respond to email from Hanover with ease. I connected to people I just met at a conference. i have received and responded to emails from current and former students that are all over the country and world.
There are lots of issues with the way that technology functions in the world. Right now, though, I am really quite grateful for it.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Pensieve
- Harry Potter: "What is it?"
- Albus Dumbledore: "This? It is called a Pensieve. I sometimes find, and I am sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my mind."
- — Albus Dumbledore and Harry Potter discussing Dumbledore's Pensieve.
- The Harry Potter films have been on television a lot lately. I love the books and tolerate the movies. There a lot of magical things from Harry Potter that I would like in my own life. I would like the time-turner Hermoine uses to add more time to her day. I wish I had a hippogriff as a pet. I would like the clock that Molly Weasley has on her wall that tells her where all her family is at any moment.
- All of those things I would like to have - but - the thing that I would like best is a pensieve. I would like to pull out my thoughts and stick them in a bowl. I would like to visit my best memories later in vivid color and revisit moments of challenge to reflect in a clearer way.
- ah well..tis not to be.
- And as I type this, I still cry as Dumbledore dies.
Hotel beds
What is it about hotel beds that make them so much more comfortable than our beds at home? Is it because I don't have to change the sheets? Is it all the extra pillows? Is it because I pay money to stay here?
I am in Tampa for a conference called the Leadership Educators Institute and staying at the Hyatt Place. I have a beautiful room and the bed made it very difficult to get up for the conference sessions this morning.
I am in Tampa for a conference called the Leadership Educators Institute and staying at the Hyatt Place. I have a beautiful room and the bed made it very difficult to get up for the conference sessions this morning.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Funny toys (revisited)
A couple of weeks ago I wrote a blog entry about these "plush microbes" that I thought were hilarious and cute.
Today as I looked around my office I realized that I already owned one of these microbes. I own the one called the "kissing disease", otherwise known as Mono. I received as a gift from one of my fave students CC when he graduated. I remember the conversation when he gave it to me. He knew that I would find it both super cute and freaking hilarious. Of course, I do.
It was a nice feeling to know how well your students can know you sometimes and how you can forget certain things until something jars you or until you take the time to look around your office.
Here's a picture of my little plush microbe at home on her shelf.
Today as I looked around my office I realized that I already owned one of these microbes. I own the one called the "kissing disease", otherwise known as Mono. I received as a gift from one of my fave students CC when he graduated. I remember the conversation when he gave it to me. He knew that I would find it both super cute and freaking hilarious. Of course, I do.
It was a nice feeling to know how well your students can know you sometimes and how you can forget certain things until something jars you or until you take the time to look around your office.
Here's a picture of my little plush microbe at home on her shelf.
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| "Kising Disease" |
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