Resolutions

In January I made two resolutions for 2012: (1) Be Thankful and (2) Be Healthy. The first one was easy.  I work in it weekly and take time regularly to be thankful for the amazing things in my life.  Being Healthy has proven to be more challenging.  I was talking about health in a holistic way.  I was talking about my financial, emotional, spiritual and physical health.  I've made some progress.

Financially I am in the best place I have ever been.  I have an actual savings account and am working on saving a comfortable cushion and enough to put a good chunk of change down on a new car.  I'm still working on budgeting and making sure that I don't spend all my money in the first two weeks of the month leaving me struggling in the last two weeks.  This is a learning process and I was never taught how to manage money, so now that I'm 33, I am finally getting the hang of it. 

Emotionally & Spiritually - eh, well, I'm working on it.  I think that writing in the blog again is part of the process to keep myself connected to my emotional and spiritual health.  I am throwing myself back into SLTP which is always a place the feeds my emotional, spiritual and intellectual side.  I am taking time for myself.  I am allowing myself to have the full range of emotions.  I am working on communicating and being more fearless.  I am taking time to unplug from technology to sit outside, to breath and to be mindful.  These are all baby steps and I don't do them consistently. All of these changes are about trying to build healthier habits. 

Physically I am making slow progress.  I am exercising more regularly.  I renewed my membership at the aquatic center and have been swimming and taking water aerobics.  I also joined Weight Watchers.  I think that WW is really helpful for me in being thoughtful about what I am eating and when.  It gives me a picture and forces me to think about the choices I am making.  Food has always served as a comfort to me, so I eat when I'm sad, when I'm angry, etc.  And I don't eat a little when I feel this way, I eat too much.  That isn't a healthy relationship with food.  So WW is helping me think about my food choices and to start making other decisions when I want to eat emotionally.  So, I have been making a concert effort for 4 weeks.  I notice that I feel different physically and that is important.  The scale reads that I have lost weight and the body measurements show that I have as well, but honestly, that isn't really the point.  I want to feel good. 

So, it has taken 8 months but I have made progress on all of my resolutions.  That makes me proud. 

LiBloWriMo = FAIL

Wow, so my goal to write everyday in November was a total bust.  In all honestly, it has been a challenging month in general.  I've been wallowing in my own head and full of doubt, sadness, concern, loneliness, confusion, etc.

Sounds like a blast, doesn't it?  I think the amazing author at hyperbole and a half describes the feeling perfectly in her most recent post.

I did do some productive things this month that needed to be done.

1. I made an appointment with a doctor and had a physical exam.  This may seem routine but I really DISLIKE going to doctors.  I have had a slew of unpleasant and borderline hateful experiences in the doctor's office.  So, what do I do?  I avoid, avoid, avoid.  Not a good idea.  I do not suggest it.  I finally went to the doctor and I had a great experience.  I think it was such a great experience because I had an appointment with a nurse practitioner rather than a doctor.  They are generally so much more humane in their treatment of people.  I set up some goals with the doctor and have another 
2. I went to the dentist.  I actually like going to the dentist.  I mean, I don't enjoy getting my teeth cleaned but I like having clean teeth afterwards.  I have just gotten really bad about attending to my dental needs in the last few years.   
3. I took care of some other miscellaneous things.   I can't remember what they were but I remember feeling productive and like I accomplished something. 

November was a fleeting month.  I spent most of it either sad or angry.  I'm digging out of it.  The first step was going back to karaoke.  That sounds insane, doesn't it?  It is true.  Karaoke makes me feel good and it takes my mind off of work and other things.  It is a purely selfish act.  I do it because I love it.  It had lost some of its glitter since JH left but I think it was associated with so many people that I truly loved leaving.

I made some health decisions.  Watching my stepfather get sick over and over again is a reality check for me.  I know that I can't keep illness at bay but I can take better care of myself.  Thus the above mentioned doctor's appointments.  Baby steps on this front.  I'm trying to develop habits and not quick fixes.  I have been down this road before and when I try to change too much at one time I end up beating myself up and feeling like a failure.  I need to hold my perfectionist tendencies at bay on this one.  So far (1) no eating after 9pm; (2) Limited soda consumption; and (3) drinking more water. Those are going really well so far.  Next on the list (1) more fruits & veggies; (2) protein at every meal; and (3) reduce refined carbs.

I made some life decisions.  Choice is an important thing. 

November...working on ending the month on a high note.

Self Care: New Years Resolution Version

Everyone is going on and on about new years resolutions.  I don't really have a new years resolution but rather a continuation of this joy/self-care journey that I have been on.

1. Floss my teeth at least once a day.
2. Make sure there are no dirty dishes in the sink when I go to sleep. 
3. Put lotion on to keep my skin from getting dry and cracked during the winter.
4. Do one thing to pamper myself a week. 
5. Laugh more than 5 times a day.
6. Schedule time for reflection.
7. Forgive myself more.
8. Celebrate myself more (This one is from my friend FS.  He asked me about my resolutions and I told him number 5 and he said that he thought I should celebrate myself more.  He is correct!)

Those are my current steps to self-care & joy. Slowly making little bitty changes to make my life more joyful, more meaningful and more full of gratitude and love.  

Start with the small things...

Self-Care

Attempting to take care of myself in any number of small, but important, ways..

1. Went to the dentist.  It has been an unspeakable amount of time since I went to the dentist.  It was not pleasant but it was necessary and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  Also, it only cost me $6.  I am SO blessed to have medical and dental insurance.  
2. Purchased new toothbrush, toothpaste, floss and mouthwash.  Apparently soft bristles are the way to go, alcohol-free mouthwash and FLOSS.  I dislike flossing but I like teeth...necessary evils
3. Got my haircut.  Needed a trim.  I told the stylist to do whatever she wanted.  It looks cute.  it is just hair.  :)

Remaining things to be completed:

1. Eyebrows waxed - didn't have time to do it when I was getting my hair cut
2. Start swimming again.  Attempting to figure out how to make it happen without a car but where there is a will there is a way
3. Laundry

Continuing ways of self-care:

1. Karaoke
2. Glee
3. BFF & other friends
4. LAUGH

Things in the new year:

1. Leave work at a reasonable (to be determined what that means) hour
2. eat more veggies

 Reminder to myself: taking care of myself is not selfish it is necessary.  yay to personal care and growth.