Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Love

Love.  There are a lot of things that I want to say about love right now and yet I am also not entirely sure what I want to say about love. 

I looked up love on Wikipedia.  (have you stopped laughing? )  I know that Wikipedia is not the best source of information in the world but in a pinch, it will do.  I just wanted to read what someone else said about love.  The very beginning of the entry is a definition.  And of course, with something like love, the definition isn't actually a real definition at all.  It is complicated and complex but was what I needed to read. 

In English, love refers to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from pleasure ("I loved that meal") to interpersonal attraction ("I love my partner"). "Love" may refer specifically to the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love, to the sexual love of eros, to the emotional closeness of familial love, to the platonic love that defines friendship,or to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love, or to a concept of love that encompasses all of those feelings. This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, compared to other emotional states.

That's just it, isn't it.  Who the hell knows what love is?  How the hell do we know?  

I love lots of people.  I love my friends.  I love the staff I work with at SLTP.  I love my family. All of these "loves" are different.  There is more than enough room in my life and my heart for all of those kinds of love.  

What I am struggling with is the idea of romantic love?  Or that love that kind of fills you up? The love that you read about in books and stories.  Is that real love?  

I think in the thinking about the idea of "going for it", the concept of love overwhelms me.  I want to be in a relationship.  I want to have a partner.  I just don't have lots of good role models of healthy relationships.  I don't know if I trust the feelings.  Love may be the most terrifying cliff - the precipice that would require real courage to jump off of...  Is it always worth it? 

 

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