Someone that I care about asked me today (or technically yesterday since it is 1:13am) if I knew who I was without work or caring for other people. It made me think. Is there something wrong? Do I not know who I am? Do I care too much?
I didn't respond immediately.
The answer to the question is no, I don't know who i am without work or without caring for other people because without that care, I'm not who I am. Caring and a deep desire to have an impact, to make a difference....those are at my core. I believe in respect. I believe in justice. I believe in love. I believe that love and care are the pathways to true justice. I don't stand for anything if I don't stand for that.
Is caring painful sometimes? Absolutely. Do I sometimes feel tired? Absolutely.
Regardless, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Do I need to sometimes figure out how to not get taken advantage of because I care so much about some things? Absolutely. But I know where my lines are. I know how I should be treated. I know what I believe to be right.
There are too many people in the world these days trying to tell me that I care too much. Wondering about why I stay at my job when so many people seem to be jumping ship. It is because I believe that the work I do truly makes a difference.
Do I sometimes lose sight of that belief? Absolutely. Do I sometimes struggle with the individual politics and petty mindgames of others? ABSOLUTELY.
But I find I don't struggle long because I know what I stand for. I care about people. I work from the heart.
Some may see it as a flaw but I think it is one of my greatest strengths.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Senior Citizen's Prom
Tonight I got a phone call from my mother to tell me that on the Channel 5 public station in East Hartford they were playing a segment they call the Time Capsule and I was on TV.
I immediately figured that it was some horrendous newscast that I used to do with my friend DW when we were in high school. Yes, that's right. Between the years of 1995 and 1997, I was one of the EHHS correspondents on Channel 5. DW and I would do a weekly broadcast, that we would normally write in the car on the way there, about all the news and happenings at the high school. It was hilarious. We never really knew where to look. We always looked like we were listening too earnestly or were trying not to laugh. Both of which were usually true. Although often, I was just off camera trying very hard to make DW laugh during his broadcast. I am so glad Youtube didn't exist when I was a younger version of myself.
But NO, that is not what was showing. Instead what was showing was a recorded version of the Senior Citizen's prom from 1997. There in all of our splendor were me and my friends dancing with the senior citizenry of East Hartford. Every year we put on this incredible prom from the folks and we would dress in gowns and tuxedos and serve them a full meal. We would learn basic ballroom steps ans dance the night away. We always threw in a good bunny hop, chicken dance and electric slide. My mom was just sitting there watching my 14 years ago and all my friends. She was rattling off names over the phone and laughing at us as we danced.
I remember those events so fondly. I mostly loved my high school experience because I was able to do some great things and do things that I felt mattered. I always felt like I was making a difference in my school and for my community. It is an incredible thing.
I have no idea why they were playing that particular year's prom. But I'm glad they were. It brought back really wonderful memories.
I immediately figured that it was some horrendous newscast that I used to do with my friend DW when we were in high school. Yes, that's right. Between the years of 1995 and 1997, I was one of the EHHS correspondents on Channel 5. DW and I would do a weekly broadcast, that we would normally write in the car on the way there, about all the news and happenings at the high school. It was hilarious. We never really knew where to look. We always looked like we were listening too earnestly or were trying not to laugh. Both of which were usually true. Although often, I was just off camera trying very hard to make DW laugh during his broadcast. I am so glad Youtube didn't exist when I was a younger version of myself.
But NO, that is not what was showing. Instead what was showing was a recorded version of the Senior Citizen's prom from 1997. There in all of our splendor were me and my friends dancing with the senior citizenry of East Hartford. Every year we put on this incredible prom from the folks and we would dress in gowns and tuxedos and serve them a full meal. We would learn basic ballroom steps ans dance the night away. We always threw in a good bunny hop, chicken dance and electric slide. My mom was just sitting there watching my 14 years ago and all my friends. She was rattling off names over the phone and laughing at us as we danced.
I remember those events so fondly. I mostly loved my high school experience because I was able to do some great things and do things that I felt mattered. I always felt like I was making a difference in my school and for my community. It is an incredible thing.
I have no idea why they were playing that particular year's prom. But I'm glad they were. It brought back really wonderful memories.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Letter to self
Today in the mail I got my letter to self. Every summer at SLTP we write a letter to ourselves. And every January we receive that letter. I am always surprised, even when I know it is coming. There is something strange about seeing your own handwriting in your mailbox. The letter this year is so poignant to me right now. It is as though I really had projected myself into the future and wrote exactly what my future self needed to hear.
On July 17, 2010, I wrote:
Dear Self-
Thank you for taking the chance and the time to SLTP. TLC was a great experience. While the lessons were important what you really learned was about yourself. Please remember the things you value. Please remember that the reason you are good at your job is because you care deeply and believe that the work you do makes a real and tangible difference in the world. I am sure that when you get this letter you will be busy. Busy is goo as long as it is busy doing things you love. Are you doing things you love? Have you allowed SLTP to slip to the back burner? Are you still singing karaoke? Are you making change? Remember that you are not alone even when it feels like it. You have a solid foundation - stand strong on it.
Questions to ask yourself:
-- Is your apt. clean? Why not?
-- Are you still exercising?
-- Are you actively connecting to the world around you?
-- Have you found love? Why not?
-- Are you still loving your job more than you hate it?
-- Are you building your friendships?
-- Are you being true?
-- Are you happy?
I love you. I don't always remember that but I do! I am pretty awesome.
Love,
Liz
Such good questions I asked myself. Important reminders to myself.
Letters to self - another reason that I love mail!
On July 17, 2010, I wrote:
Dear Self-
Thank you for taking the chance and the time to SLTP. TLC was a great experience. While the lessons were important what you really learned was about yourself. Please remember the things you value. Please remember that the reason you are good at your job is because you care deeply and believe that the work you do makes a real and tangible difference in the world. I am sure that when you get this letter you will be busy. Busy is goo as long as it is busy doing things you love. Are you doing things you love? Have you allowed SLTP to slip to the back burner? Are you still singing karaoke? Are you making change? Remember that you are not alone even when it feels like it. You have a solid foundation - stand strong on it.
Questions to ask yourself:
-- Is your apt. clean? Why not?
-- Are you still exercising?
-- Are you actively connecting to the world around you?
-- Have you found love? Why not?
-- Are you still loving your job more than you hate it?
-- Are you building your friendships?
-- Are you being true?
-- Are you happy?
I love you. I don't always remember that but I do! I am pretty awesome.
Love,
Liz
Such good questions I asked myself. Important reminders to myself.
Letters to self - another reason that I love mail!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
New Favorite Quote
I have been saying for awhile now that students need to do something. I want them to stand up for what they believe. I want them to take action.
Apparently, John Sloan Dickey, former president of Dartmouth college agreed with me when he said:
"In all your learning get not only wisdom but also build the will and acquire the capacity for doing something about those things which need doing."
I could not agree more!!
Apparently, John Sloan Dickey, former president of Dartmouth college agreed with me when he said:
"In all your learning get not only wisdom but also build the will and acquire the capacity for doing something about those things which need doing."
I could not agree more!!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
COLD day - WARM snuggie
I know that I have written odes to my snuggie in previous post. Today as the temperature drops below zero, I am so super grateful for my snuggie, warm blankets, cozy sockies, and heat.
As the temperature drops, I can't help but think about those families that don't have heat, that are struggling this winter. My family has been in dire straits before and have gone through difficult winters. I am deeply grateful for what I have and hope that I can find ways to help those that need it.
As the temperature drops, I can't help but think about those families that don't have heat, that are struggling this winter. My family has been in dire straits before and have gone through difficult winters. I am deeply grateful for what I have and hope that I can find ways to help those that need it.
Making plans
In two weeks (Feb 4-6) I will be in Boston to see my two favorite Lauras! yay!
I am very excited about having plans and for getting a chance to see my friends. It also happens to be the weekend of an LI meeting for SLTP.
It is going to be a great weekend of great people. I'm excited for future plans...
I am very excited about having plans and for getting a chance to see my friends. It also happens to be the weekend of an LI meeting for SLTP.
It is going to be a great weekend of great people. I'm excited for future plans...
Frank conversation
I have to admit that it makes me feel good when I am able to have a frank conversation with my family about uncomfortable things.
Today I had a conversation with my mom about living will and funeral preparations and stuff like that. No one is dying. This is not a conversation that was prompted by any imminent danger. I just think it is important. I think everyone should prepare and should have their wishes in writing.
Lots of people seem to think this is a morbid conversation...I think it is practical and important. I am glad that my mom is open to having these conversations. There are too many things that people don't talk about. Too many things that go left unsaid in our lives. I'm glad to have been able to have a real conversation about something important.
Today I had a conversation with my mom about living will and funeral preparations and stuff like that. No one is dying. This is not a conversation that was prompted by any imminent danger. I just think it is important. I think everyone should prepare and should have their wishes in writing.
Lots of people seem to think this is a morbid conversation...I think it is practical and important. I am glad that my mom is open to having these conversations. There are too many things that people don't talk about. Too many things that go left unsaid in our lives. I'm glad to have been able to have a real conversation about something important.
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