Thursday, October 28, 2010

Pondering...

I haven't posted since Monday night, not because of a lack of joy in my life or even because of a lack of time...I haven't posted because I have been questioning myself.  This is not a new thing for me.

I have been wondering if this blog is a form of dishonesty in my life.  Isn't that ridiculous?  Everything I have posted has been true but I keep wondering am I "looking to hard for joy in my life".  It is one of those moments of me getting in my own way.  Actively seeking joy and happiness has really helped me feel better.  I need to be okay with celebrating the joy because it doesn't mean that I am ignoring the unhappy moments or in a stage of denial but rather it is keeping me from dwelling on those negative moments.

Sometimes I need to just remind myself to get out of my own way...I deserve to have happiness and laughter and joy.  Life includes all the ugly bits but there are so many really beautiful pieces too.

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