Healthy mind, healthy body

I have discovered that when my head is all out of whack, then everything else in my life is too.  When I am sucked into a negative vortex, then I stop taking care of my house, my body, my relationships.  In those moments it takes all of my energy to get basic daily life done.  In those moments, I tend to focus on tasks.  I focus on getting work done.  What I am unable to do is focus on me...when really in those moments I should be focusing on me and then I would be better able to take care of everything else.

This blog has been vital in re-centering me.  It was the first and very important step for me to start taking care of myself.  I always tell my students that they can't take care of other people unless they take care of themselves.  I know that I am better able to focus, to help people and to be in a frame of mind to think clearly when I am taking care of myself.  I know that it is not selfish to do so and that taking care of myself is the first step to taking care of others.  I know all of these things intellectually but I have always had a hard time living my life that way. 

The act of writing one thing (or 5) that brought me joy in a given day has been important for me.  It has allowed me to focus on my life.  It has allowed me to breathe in happiness.  It has helped me start taking care of myself physically - exercise, eating better, clean apartment.  All of these things help me feel secure and safe in my own life and in my own presence.  Every day I take a teeny tiny baby step towards being more comfortable in my own skin, in my own mind and in my own company. 

I didn't think this blog would be such hard work for me.  It started as a whim. A momentary idea that flitted through my head.  It has turned into a journey for me.  It is allowing me to share parts of myself with strangers when I usually keep most things tucked away.  It is inviting myself into my own life.  While I know that there are other people reading this, the main audience for this blog remains me.  I write everyday for myself. (Although I am glad to have whoever is reading along for the ride)

It is helping me to love myself in a way that I haven't in a long time.